As said by Jillian

So, I have been...I don't even know if there is a word in the dictionary for the up and down feelings I have had these past few days...it has just been weird.

Ry and I were watching the Biggest Loser tonight.  Jillian is the tough, brick house of a trainer.  She was talking to one of her contestants who really is an annoying person and hides behind this "I'm stupid"facade.  Anyways, the contestant was really annoying Jillian to say the least.  I think the correct sentiment was, "I want to rip her arms off and beat her over her head with them."  Well, Jillian finally "broke through" to this lady.  She started talking to her and there was something she said that really stuck with me.  

"You can write a different story."

Basically she was saying that everything is a CHOICE.  We can choose to follow a weight plan, or train for a marathon, or get out of an unhealthy situation, or change a career, or whatever it is.  It is a choice.  I can write a different story.  I don't have to keep up with the same defeating voice that wants to put myself down or tell myself that I am not good enough.  I don't have to keep the same bad attitude all day or all week.  I can change it in an instant.  I can write a different story.  It reminded me of a book I have read before, When God Writes your Life Story.  Maybe I need to pull that out and reread it.  

I will write a different story.  I know myself enough to know that I have to make mini goals and cover all areas of my life, not just one.  So, in the next few days I will let you know what those goals are, perhaps even day to day.

Tomorrow?  Fold all the laundry.